Taking out the trash

You've heard the saying "what goes in must come out". I like to believe that's talking about a lot more than just food. Try music, or television- those both effect the way we percieve things. Remember the too much Greys Anatomy issue (I still sometimes believe I could be a surgeon).

I've become slightly obsessed with reading other peoples blogs. I blame Facebook for this, because so many people can "share" a link so easily. I don't necessarily think my problem is a bad problem to have though. As I read each post, I am constantly expanding my mind with the ideas of others. I am learning how people view issues I've only somewhat considered. I am growing interested in things I've never heard of. I am laughing out loud. I am learning new methods of food preparation and the value I place on family. I am getting emotionally involved, and I am being challenged in my faith in the best possible way. I am growing. Now if only I could find the motivation to latch on to those exercise inspired blogs!

My rapidly growing appetite for more challenges me to not only accept what I believe, but to look into it and find the root of why I believe it. Through this, I am learning more of who I am. I am learning more of who I want and don't want to become. And because my "root" is the Bible, I am learning more of who God is and who He wants me to become.

I am a fairly nice person. Generally people like me-unless they can't handle the sarcasm because that comes in massive waves. I like to make people laugh and if I love you, you know it. I am protective of those I care about. Just an all or nothing kind of girl here.

I recently offended someone greatly, although my intentions were never to do so. This person is someone I once considered a dear friend. I've tried to work things out, over and over. I've sought council on the issue. I've prayed over the issue. I've had other people pray over the issue. I gave it to God in total surrender. Through all of this I reached one conclusion: I will not trash talk them, especially on social media. I am taking out the trash. Because someone has to. I refuse to stoop to a level of immaturity via social media outburst for momentary relief of pent up frustration. 

I do hope and pray they get the help they need. My flesh wants to reveal every detail of this awful situation to anyone willing to listen, but the Holy Spirit reminds me that this person too is a child of His. I am also reminded that I will be held accountable for my actions and reactions. So when my gut instinct is to use hurtful words, I take a step back and realize this is much bigger than me. I choose to speak life. I choose to respect people, even if they do not respect me. I do this because my grandma tells me I am better than that, I do this because I can here Renita's voice telling its the right thing to do. More importantly, I do this to honor God because the covenant He created with me is much greater than any vengeful word I could ever utter.

My pastor once said "Hurting people hurt people, healed people heal people." That has stuck with me all this time because it has proved to be more than true. Obviously we know Christ does the healing, in all ways possible, but the general idea is; if someone has received that healing power of Christ they will share it with others bringing them the truth in which they too can be healed. Just as, if someone is hurting they will find a way, be it intentional or not, to hurt those around them. This only reveals they are going through something so terrible (emotionally, physically, spiritually) they feel a moment of relief to cause someone else the same hurt.

On days I have wanted to be hateful God reminds me, He loves this person and I need to show them His love too.When you realize this place in your life, loving those you want to love the least, this gives God an opening to move in ways you've never considered. He will move in ways so big you will be blown away, speechless. I am now waiting for my "speechless" moment. I see big things happening all around me. I am thankful He is faithful and as I've been praying for this particular situation He is honoring my request and answering my prayers. Not only is He answering my prayers, but He did so in such a way I never imagined... But I am also thankful He has allowed me to go through this, because it has taught me so much and through it all, it has draw me closer to Him.

I don't want to ever have to reach a point of desperation before I call out to God. I want to walk in constant communication with Him, allowing Him in on every situation and decision.

I want to walk boldly for the Lord.