Taylor Swift, I'm feeling anything but 22

Age is nothing but a number 

I am an old lady. Not by the numbers on my birth certificate, nor those near the corner on my driver license though. 

They say you're only as old as you feel. 

Tonight I feel about 55. 

I decided getting home later than usual meant I was relieved from the duties of cooking. It is just for one, after all. 

I'm in my big comfy chair...

with my big floppy dog...

take out... 

My favorite quilt... 

fully loaded DVR. 

Ready. Set. Go. 

Oh, I did manage to put on my new - old lady - nightgown before taking my seat. 

Yes. Nightgown. 

I also love turtle necks, can't drive at night, and call TV shows "programs". 

Happy Thursday, y'all. 

Time in-between

A few really cool things have happened over the last week. I guess it's safe to say (so far) 27 has been good to me.

My girl Kels got me this amazing birthday present. But, if you follow my Instagram you already know this.

It's a selfie pole. As in, an extension pole for my phone that also comes with a super rad clicker-which gives you the ability to snap a photo at anytime...! 

Yes, I'm stoked.

Point in case...

You see us Home Depot employees know how to get down. 

Obviously, we had a slow night. 

So thanks Kels, for the memories yet to be made. 

Speaking of Kelsey, it was during a recent phone call with her (because of our many miles apart, that's how we have to communicate now) I realized something pretty amazing.

There I was, telling her of all the wonderful things God has been revealing to me, specifically that weekend, and God so clearly spoke to me. Again. In that perfect way He does.

In the last few months as everything here in little ole Conway has started to change and people have started leaving for their next step, I was quick to ask God Why not me? Why am I still here? I believe it is for a reason, but I desperately asked Him lately to reveal this reason or reasons to me. 

I'm pouring out my heart to Kels about this God given opportunity in a Mexican restaurant to share His truth with someone. Someone clearly asking what it meant to be born again after I shared a bit of my story. A conversation started, all over my tattoo. 

See Mom, they're not all so bad.

I said to Kelsey, I know if y'all were still here I wouldn't be seeking God so much, because I would be comfortable. I would be fine in our everyday routine. But since everyone did leave, I've sought God more in the time y'all have been gone than I have in a really long time. I'm digging in deeper to His everything because the idea of loneliness is so uncomfortable.

And then, in the soft still voice, I hear from my beloved. My gracious father said "this is it Kris, this is your reason. I long to be close with you, closer than ever before. I want you to view me as your total comfort." 

Wow. 

Talk about getting choked up and excited at the same time! 

My God is so, so good to me. 

Even just earlier that evening, He blessed me in a way I never imagined. 

I spent Saturday night with grandma. We stayed up well past 2am, which meant early morning church came and went as We remained in a state of deep sleep. That happens every now and then. No sweat. 

Since I was still around that evening and the church I grew up in still had Sunday night services, like all good Southern Baptist churches do, I decided to go. 

At first I was reluctant. I even walked in almost expecting to get nothing from the service. How sad that is! Here I was with a body of believers and I was expecting to be disappointed. God immediately convicted me about that. There I sat, first 5 minutes of church, totally convicted to the point of true repentance. 

God blessed that repentance though. After the worship began, I watched this congregation start to rise. This body of believers stood to their feet and embraced the moment of worship. I smiled as I lifted my hands in reverence to my Jesus, and in that moment - although I know it was for many people, I also knew it was for me. In the end, it was all for Him and His glory. 

After the service I had a chance to catch up with someone I've always considered a friend. Sharon was the cool college aged kid while I was the dorky junior high school student.

She's a precious soul. She looked at me across the dinner table as I told her plans God is revealing to me and desires that He's growing inside of me and she says "you know Krissy, we've always known that you were a leader. We knew from the time you were this big (she held her hand up to about the size of a small child). We knew that you were a leader. I have been so excited to watch as He continues to grow you in Him. I can't wait to see where He takes you."

I realized, God is using people from my past to speak truth into my future. 

Thanks for that moment, sweet friend. 

(Selfie pole in action, yet again!)

Yes, I do say 27 is looking pretty good. 

Born in America

Can you think back to the best present you've ever been given? Was it for your birthday, Christmas, or just a random Friday?

Think about it now. 

The feeling of excitement as you realized what was now yours. Try to muster up that feeling again... Got it? Excitement. Pure joy. Fascination that someone gave it to you, this amazing gift, with no strings attched. 

What if I told you I could top that gift? 

Believe me or not, I can. 

But first, let's take a stroll down memory lane...

Over the years, I've had my share of ups and downs in the gift receiving category. There have been days filled with laughter and memories of family celebrations, but there have also been birthdays resulting in tears, and maybe some Christmas mornings with just a little disappointment.

These tear filled days and disappointed moments may have been because I didn't know how to gracefully receive a present--even if I didn't quiet care for it. As I grew older, my friend circle even became hesitant to gift me with items because they have heard the stories from my childhood. Of course, told from my perspective.

I can remember a 13 year old me being told to open my eyes to find a used western saddle. A saddle my dad was so proud to gift me with. One he spent hard earned money on. A saddle he actually had bought months before, telling me it was for my step mom.

I was distraught over this. I already had a western saddle. You know, the kind barrel racers use with the horn in front. I wanted an English saddle. A shiny new one. The ones that allowed a rider to gracefully jump over any item with ease. A few of the girls I was in school with all rode English. They went to shows on weekends and wore the stretchy pants and the knee high boots and helmets. They spent all of their time in arenas.

I just knew I wanted my horse stories to be like theirs.

I am so thankful God knew me better than I knew myself. Because I rode in a western saddle, I was able to handle 45 mile trail rides that lasted all weekend. I was able to attach items to the back of my saddle that allowed for these long trips. I was able to be in the woods, the fields, the mountains. I was able to see so much of what God created beyond a sandy arena. And for me, that's exactly what I needed. And to top it off (literally) I didn't have to wear a stuffy helmet. My head was free as could be, unless I choose to tuck it into a spectacular cowboy hat.

I mean, I would have missed out on moments like these.

(I always have loved a good dress up occasion!) 

I haven't forgotten about the gift I promised to share with you...

First, I want to share this years birthday experience.

I am thankful for birthdays that are done right. Right as in, no melt downs and expectations are far exceeded.

That's the story this year. Year 27. 
 

 

I was catered to ALL day. Seriously. So. Much. Food.

And the birthday journal is by far my favorite.

Mom - The word that waited 26 years to gain personal meaning. (This is proof some things are worth waiting for)

(transcription: Happy Birthday Kris. I love you and don't want you to leave but I want your dog to... leave me alone. Kris I love you. Love Joshua.)

Is this not the greatest?

But what's a birthday without silly birthday rhymes?

it went something like this...

"Happy Birthday Kris, I'm glad that you're my big sis.
I love playing games with you, whether its Seven Wonders or Taboo.
You're great at helping with decorating, whether painting or chincy faux tin.
When you are here we get to stay up late, We're still looking for your mate.
I can't wait until you move down here, out of your hand you will feed the deer.
We love you Kris from head to feet, You make our family complete."

Oh, my Noah. How he makes me laugh! And of course, I always appreciate a great birthday rhyme.

Noah and Lydia also spent their very own money on survivor swag for my birthday! How great is that? 

And once I got back to Arkansas the party kept on going.

Yes, I'm highly favored and extremely blessed! 

I've had many people make comments to me over the last few years about my lifestyle or the things I've gotten to do. Traveling all over the world, meeting people some would never believe. Making ends meet when I least expected it. Avoiding death on numerous occasions in horrible car accidents. 

I've received personal messages or been face to face and see someone have that longing look in their eyes to have some of the same experiences. 

Well, I want to tell you how it has all been possible. 

It all comes back to the gift thing really.

See, one year - four days after my actual birthday - my dad gifted me with the best thing anyone could ever receive.

No serioisly, this gift cannot be topped. 

This was another one of those birthdays that exceeded expectations.

This gift was non refundable, given to me by great sacrifice form my dad. Something I needed more than anything else, even though I was unaware at the time. 

This gift is something I have with me every day, even now. He loved me so much, he was willing to make a major sacrifice so I could be given this gift. Its actually something He tried to give me several times in years past. Offered it to me on numerous occasions, but I was stubborn and didn't want the gift. I threw fits about it most of the time, others I just refused to acknowledge He was even offering it to me. 

This isn't reserved for just birthdays or Christmas either- but I wouldn't accept it. I refused for a long time. It wasn't until I felt like I had nothing and I knew I needed something. 

My dad was there, still offering this to me.

I am not talking about the dad you all have in mind though.

I am talking about my Dad. My friend. My father who is above all else. The Alpha and the Omega. The beginning and the end. 

On July 12, 2011 - I received the most precious gift anyone has ever offered to me. The gift of eternal life, which can only be received through Jesus Christ.

I would LOVE to share with you more about this on a personal level. I will buy the coffee and drive the distance to your cities. I can pick up a phone and make a call. However you may want to hear about this thing that changed my life. This gift. The gift of redemption, grace and mercy. 

The gift of total freedom. And not the "born in America" type of freedom. It's more of a freedom from self distriction or freedom from shame. Freedom from feelings of worthlessness, feelings of abandonment. Freedom from self doubt and fear of the unknown. Freedom from lies and bondage.

This precious gift that has turned my life into a story worth sharing is one I long to share with you. 

Please, don't wait. I really love coffee and talking about my Jesus, so I'm willing to do this anytime, anywhere.